Interconnectedness
When I’m feeling overwhelmed or over stimulated I tend to retreat into the recesses of my own mind. While I’ve read my articles on why this isn’t healthy, I find this to be very healthy for myself. It gives me a moment to pause and reflect on not only the situation, but my feelings and possible reactions to the situation.
I don’t do this in a emergency stress situation that would trigger fight, freeze or flight, more like when I check in on why my kids are being so quiet and find that they got into my expensive art supplies and drew a mural on the walls in my honour.
As my youngest child is coming out of the baby stage and becoming more independent, I find myself questioning who I am as a person. Do I have the same hobbies that I did before having to invest so much of my energy into caring for my babies? Do I even prioritize the things I once held so important to me? The past few months in particular I’ve started to feel a shift.
I don’t feel as though I connect with the “moms” anymore because I don’t spend most of my days looking up sleep schedules and studying colours of baby poop, but I also don’t connect with people without children as I can’t seem to get them to understand my inability to leave everything at the drop of a hat and ignore my financial obligations.
I feel trapped in the middle with no one or no group in particular to relate to. What should I even Google to find what I’m looking for? While accidentally clicking a video a stumbled across the term, interconnectedness.
Interconnectedness- The state of being connected; the state of being connected with each other
Oxford Languages
I’m sure a botanist can explain how plants grow. Heck, I’m sure a four year old can explain how plants grow. Most of us know the basics. You need soil rich in nutrients, a healthy seed, clean water and some sunlight. Given the right care you will soon start to see a little sprout shoot from the earth.
The part that really makes me think. is how do the sunlight, soil, water and temperature know what it takes to make this seed grow? How does the DNA contained within the seed know when to reach for these supplies to begin this process? I even wonder what “seeds” are here on earth laying dormant because the planet hasn’t yet met the conditions for its growth?
Some may say intelligent design or that we have a creator. Academic professionals are probably rolling their eyes thinking the explanation simple, but I don’t perceive it to be. All of these things have to exist for the seed to thrive. They are all interconnected.
Apart from the physical things that we as humans need to thrive and grow; water, food, warmth, emotional safety (yes, stress will kill you) I find that it is also very important that we take a deep look and what we need to grow spiritually.
I can only speak for myself when I say that feeling lonely is one of the worst feelings that I experience. It often comes suddenly and without warning. Sometimes when I’m alone or even with people who I love. The feeling of lonely that I have isn’t from physically being alone, but from not being understood or being seen or heard.
It’s easy for me to say “Well, they don’t understand me, so forget it.” Instead of myself first seeking to understand. As the seed needs soil, water, sunlight etc. to grow, we as humans need to feel connected. In order to feel connected we need to feel understood and have emotional safety with that person.
The reason why I don’t feel like I connect with the “moms” or with some single people is because I don’t feel understood by these groups. But, I’m the one creating the barrier between us. I’m the one who is defining them as the “moms” and the “singles”.
What makes us unique is that we can choose what we take in to grow. We choose what we eat, what to wear depending the weather, what to read or what to listen to. If we aren’t getting what we need from a spot we can move. We can makes the changes we need to be more interconnected with our environments.
Instead of talking about diapers and sleep schedules with the moms, we can talk about building financially for our children’s future. Instead of expensive late night dinners with single friends, we can hike in the afternoons or talk about work, relationships or basically anything that we can connect over.
The great thing about being human is that we aren’t limited to what is around us like a seed stuck in the earth. We are mobile, we are imaginative and we can connect on multiple levels so deep that it would take all the time of humanity to try to understand.
To me interconnectedness is not only being connected, but the ability to create connections so deeply with each other that they cannot be broken or seperated.